I am that left-over food, I love my existence.

Imagine! A big fat wedding ceremony to even unifying in a courtroom. A plush date on a skyline’s fine dines to rants in a bistro. An eat-all-you-can session in conferences to those post-work hours ‘I need to unwind’ drinks. A tiffin box meal went wrong to those get-together biryanis at home. A road-side excess junk to mass human congregation feasts. Hell yeah! I am omnipresent.

In 90% of the above cases, 1/3rd of whatever you see is ME. If this ratio further drops down, you either initiate your journey towards obesity or get aligned for a complicated poop-a-doop session the next morning. The core reason to which eventually boils down to ME. Again.

I have two questions for you -

• Why do I exist when you humans are the most intelligent species (proven) on this planet?

• Why is there a sudden distinction between me & my brothers as soon as your tummy’s full?

Well, don’t stress yourself, I’ll help you answer this!

To answer the first question, it’s that dialogue, you say it aloud or feel it in your head — “Khaana Kam nahi padna chahiye!”, the root cause of my existence.

I’ll give you a parallel to this. Imagine you’re gym-ready (hungry), the first immediate feel in your head ‘This session will be THE one!’ (‘Khaana kam nahi padna chahiye!’), and then you get passionate enough (order/cook your food) to give your everything. Post this dishoom-dishoom for minutes/hours you realize either you really gave it all or you’re all over the place (Cooked / Ordered a li’l more than required or too much!). What you fail to realize is there is no ‘THE session’ that exists — ever. In this case — ‘Khaana kabhi kam nahi padta’ — Meaning: The food you actually require is never in excess!

Why?

A normal human’s appetite for healthy living is way lower than what you really think it is! Your digestive system is like a machine. Every single thing has a value and adds to the functioning of it. Also, if you’re consuming food right now, there is also some food conserved from your last session, like that small cute li’l candy also counts. And if your counter-argument is what if a person did not consume food for say 24 hours? In that case, you have to be more cautious than ever in what you consume. Like, imagine a machine shut for 24 hours and all of a sudden has to work at full speed. Seriously? You deserve *Slow claps* if you think the other way!

Anyways why am I being that nutritionist you mostly just consult and hence own a line — ‘I am on a diet’ to boost your social ego. I’ve got more things to feel bad about, like my brothers who are effing lucky enough to at least make it to your digestive system. That gets me to answer the next question!

Do you realize my journey before I am supposed to enter your mouth (which I particularly don’t)? Technically, everything that’s me is born over of period of 1 to 6 months. Everything you call — food; the beans, the milk, that meat, those cereals, et cetera. Every single of them adhere to their period of fighting it out to survive, be the toughest, be perfect and reach a point where they are considered perfect enough to be sold in your markets. Half of my brothers are left out before even getting on this journey. Further, it’s your choice to pick the fragmented me from wherever you wish to and then rest in your fridge, if lucky — immediately cooked or RIP for days. This is when you call me ‘stale’ and I am discarded even before I get a chance to perform. When given a chance, I am served on your plates and here my friend is when you reject me. Like the best out of the best served is still rejected. Need a parallel thought? Think about the film industry, the number of films made v/s the number that lands in theatres. I assume you understand the disparity. Coming back, so I am rejected. Why? Because you don’t feel like having me at that moment. Seriously? After all that I go through, your feel and irresponsive call to cook/order me and then land me on your plate finally determines my fate. This creates immediate discrimination between me and my brothers. No! I did nothing wrong, it’s your cranium’s fuss that rests me in a bin. Do you realize how bad I smell in there? Why would you? When you don’t realize the girth, the meaning of your hard work you put in every minute/day/hour.

You, I repeat, You wake up every day, deal with you’re worldly jazz, fighting it out to earn a dime. Forget all the luxuries for a moment, the most important thing you buy out of that dime is me. And imagine how irresponsible you are when you don’t let me add nutrition to your body. Wait! Unless I am an alcohol variant that you conserve like a piece of diamond jewelry. You would never ever throw that in a bin until you wipe that glass/bottle out. In fact, the older that diamond equivalent gets, the more you value it. How ironic of you and how unlucky of me :(

At times I wish everything of me was only and only an alcohol variant. Never ever would I exist. But I am sure you won’t, either :p

Well, I’ve strictly told Krishnakant, the next time you see me, just stare at me for a couple of seconds and you’d feel what I feel at that moment. This bugger’s promised me to never see me again! Not even that forceful last bite which pushes me in your digestive system on a bad note. And it’s not just him, but I take this promise from you as well. Yeah! I take this for granted as you take me — every single time.

After all, I am that leftover food and I do not wish to love my existence.

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Part of the blog series — ‘I am avoidable, I love my existence’