I am a firecracker, I love my existence.

200BC, Humans were exploring the use of fire, an invention, they felt could significantly help to upgrade their lifestyle. One of the groups was so ecstatic and tripping over this invention that they identified colored patterns and formations that could be made out of this cute li’l fire. (I want to know what were they ___ing ?)

I don’t know why but these fire formations and colors brought a smile on their faces. And hence, that act of visual delight was declared celebratory. And with time *drum rolls* I was born — a firecracker.

Now, tell me one good thing that has ever happened to you because of me, beyond those few seconds of excitement/smile/happiness ????

Let’s say, the average time of your excitement is one minute.

For a minute of your excitement - I make the air you breathe 40 times more harmful to what you should actually be breathing.

For a minute of your excitement - I make your ears go through shit, causing depression, nervous breakdown.

For a minute of your excitement - I leave behind toxic wastes which I am sure you won’t give a shit about.

For a minute of your excitement - I create an air bubble that stays in your environment for 20 days, of course not visible to you.

For a minute of your excitement - I destruct mountains and forests to ensure the right material is used to manufacture me.

For a minute of your excitement - I create new allergies amongst people who otherwise are sacred healthy souls.

Isn’t a lot going down for just one minute of your excitement, unfair right?

Wait! Why would you call it unfair? Of course, it’s fair. That’s how you tell your world — you’re in a happy mood, celebrating once in a year festival. Focus on that word — ‘once’. That’s your core selling point when it comes to defending your firecracker cravings. And this only becomes unfair when billions rant about doing it at once, but just once! Do the math. *facepalm*

Just once. You’re an alcoholic. You’re a chain smoker. You’re a screen addict. You’re mobile app savvy. You’re a digital junkie. But for all of these, at first, you wanted to try it — just once. Now, trying everything once ain’t a bad trait. The problem is when you like something at once, you don’t really think about its consequences. How does it affect you or the world in the long run? If you like something, you’d fight the world to defend or to sustain it. Example — Adolf Hitler’s love for power, Your maid’s affection for mopping over dishwashing et cetera.

All of the above #Gyaan falls flat. Why? Because the target audience that adheres me the most are children. Think about when you were a kid? The firecracker universe for you was a fantasy, a symbol of your social status. Within your circle, you’d showoff as a kid that you could light up a ‘laddi’ (a series of unusual sound that halts traffic and freaks out everyone except the one that lights/ own it) or you have ‘X’ number of Paus, Chakri, and Fuljhari (all of them focus are light oriented, doesn’t halt traffic with a minimal freak out quotient). Beyond just being amused, it’s also indicative of the fact that you’re a grown up, this happens when you light a rassi/sutli bomb (The ugliest sounding version of me with the highest freak out quotient). You’d brag to your world, “Mein bada ho gaya hun ab, Mein rassi bomb fodta hun.” (I am a grown up now, I can light the freakout bomb).

Think about it, to deal with children and to explain them the side effects of me is in itself a herculean task. I mean if it was easy, chocolates would be long banned and gaming companies across the world would be shut down. It’s with adulthood that you realise how wrong I am to this world. And by the time you realise, there are 2X kids already tripping over me. It’s a vicious cycle. Even the one writing this (Krishnakant) maintained a firecracker priority checklist a month prior to the festival until 10 years back when he got choked, just once :p

Is there a solution? NO! But, I’d present an example that blew my mind.

At new year’s even in Sydney, Australia, the city’s world-famous fireworks display (it’s always the first one to go off!) is 100 percent carbon neutral. The professional grade fireworks are made from biodegradable paper, leaving no compounds or chemicals wafting through the air. For any residual pollution resulting from Sydney’s firework display, the city purchases carbon offsets, which ensure a zero carbon impact event. Imagine, if all the firecrackers in the world were non-toxic or eco-friendly.

If this cannot be availed on a large scale, why isn’t there a community firecracker display event? Why does everybody have to light one to satisfy their cravings? Why can’t there be just one event that serves the entire city, for a minute of your excitement? I am sure soon enough you’d have to wear breathing masks during festivities and I wouldn’t be surprised if people wear them and light crackers. Chill! I know I am amusing but try avoiding for the betterment of your world bro!

After all, I am a firecracker and I do not wish to love my existence.